All in the Family
by IcarusT
Summary: The grandchildren of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Nabierre are searching for their heritage. Little do they know that they're about to receive a little outside help. But will the next generation of Skywalker-Solos heal old wounds and learn about the past?


"All in the Family"  
  
by Icarus729  
  
**All characters are of course not mine.....I want to thank George Lucas for letting us have them in the world of imagination.**  
  
The grandchildren of Anakin Skywalker and Queen Amidala search for their heritage, but 40 or so years have passed since the end of the Old Republic. The children have all but given up--until they receive a little help from the patriarch himself. Will the next generation of Skywalker-Solos heal old wounds and learn about their past?   
  
************  
  
Seventeen-year old Jaina Solo frowned at the computer screen in front of her, tapping her fingers impatiently against the frame of the old-fashioned keypad. She was in her room, on the second day she and her twin brother Jacen Solo had returned home for a holiday from the Jedi Academy. Her mother was still at the Senate Hall, her father was out, and Anakin was still in class at the competitive Collegiate School, leaving her and Jacen at home. Jacen was resting in his room, and here she was, glaring at the blue screen in front of her. Under the search engine of the Galactic Census, she typed in numerous parameters, but all had the common denominator: "Anakin Skywalker".   
  
Jaina had been at this whenever she had free time, whether at the Academy or at home. She sighed, exasperated. Nothing came up, except for the fact that "Anakin Skywalker" did exist as some point in time, born around 45 or so years ago. Other than that, there were no pictures, no links to other people except for Jedi Knights whom Jaina, with the notable exception of General Obi-Wan Kenobi, did not know.   
  
She was so engrossed with her search that she did not hear her youngest brother walk in.   
  
"Jaina, what are you doing?" he asked, peeping in her door frame.   
  
"Anakin! I didn't hear you get home," Jaina exclaimed, turning her swivel chair around. She leaned back in a defeated stance. "I'm not doing anything, it seems like."   
  
Anakin leaned against the door. As she looked at him, it suddenly occurred to Jaina that Anakin was growing up, not a little boy anymore. He never had the awkward adolescent stage--he simply grew taller and slightly thinner, with very delicate facial features. The two had always been close, even when she was at the Academy on Yavin 4 and he was still on Coruscant. Anakin was the rogue in the family; Jaina had tried to persuade Anakin to continue his Jedi studies at the Academy, but he left after he turned fourteen. Anakin had confided to her that he wanted to see more of what other people did and how they lived their lives. He took the prestigious Collegiate School's entrance examinations and earned a scholarship. Presently he was wearing the School's uniform, a deep blue sailor cut blouse with a white cross tie; his pants were long. Anakin held his long coat on the crook of his arm. If Jaina would say so, she had to admit he looked pretty handsome.   
  
"You didn't find anything on Grandfather?"   
  
Jaina shrugged.   
  
"I didn't find anything that we didn't already know--" Jaina stopped short, her eyes suddenly grew wide. "Hey--how did you know that I was--"   
  
"Jacen's doing the same thing as well," Anakin interrupted, a little embarrassed. "He had caught me sneaking up on him last night."   
  
Jaina sighed again. "I suppose the Emperor had all his records erased. There's no mention to our Grandmother either."   
  
"Not even a name?"   
  
Jaina shook her head. She turned back to the computer screen and stared at the tiny shred of evidence of their heritage.   
  
"There's one file that is password locked. I can't access it here." She sighed. "I guess we'll just never know," she said quietly. Anakin came up to her and took her hand.   
  
"Come on," he said, gently. "Let it be."   
  
  
The next day.....   
  
Jaina stood with her arms on her hips, her mouth bent in a frown. Her eyebrows were brought together in a furrow, as her light-brown eyes squinted in the brightly lit corridor. She had just come from a nap.   
  
"Anakin!!" she called loudly. "It's time for dinner!"   
  
"Coming!" The fifteen and a half year-old Anakin Solo's voice rang out.   
  
***********   
  
In the modest dining room, Jacen was setting the table. Despite the presence of Threepio and nanny droids, the children of one of the New Republic's leaders, Leia Organa Solo, would do chores like any children. General Han Solo made sure that even though his kids were Force-strong and seemed destined for a bright future, they would grow up in as normal and as loving a family as possible. In Han Solo's mind, given the dubious Skywalker family ancestry, he didn't want his own to repeat history. It seemed impossible to see his children turning to the Dark Side of the Force and pit themselves against each other--the three were virtually inseparable. But history was littered with such tales. Han sometimes thought how Grandfather Skywalker, Luke and Leia's father, his *father-in-law*, would feel seeing his kids now. He had long forgiven the torture Darth Vader had given him--he had forgiven him, but not forgotten it.   
  
"Dad? Wake up or you're gonna burn that!"   
  
Han woke up from his reverie and turned to face his accuser with a lop-sided grin. Of all the children, his daughter Jaina had taken the most after him. He fondly remembered the days when five year-old Jaina would sit in the hull of the *Falcon* and help her father tinker with his ship, oftentimes figuring out his ship better than he could. Now a blossoming 17-year old and outgrowing her tomboyishness, he was beginning to wonder who she resembled more. Both she and Jacen had his light brown eyes and hair, but there was something different about Jaina-the cut of her face, the shape of her mouth-it appeared whenever Han least expected it. Though Han could never prove it, he had a vague feeling that she had inherited some physical features from her grandparents that neither his wife nor brother-in-law took after. Han wasn't even sure if her mechanical aptitude was all from his gene pool-from what he's heard, the Skywalkers, at least the males, were pretty hot with the machinery as well. Jaina was forever showing off her new inventions, without the least bit arrogance in her gestures--*that* she inherited from her mother. Han was *always* proud of *his* work. Jaina was not shy--being the oldest, she kept her brothers in line.   
  
As much as Jaina was becoming a beautiful young lady, Jacen was growing into quite a young gentleman. Han grinned wryly, remembering the first time he saw Jacen very dressed up and imitating his father's signature lop-sided grin and his casual manner. He was very much like his twin sister: broad-minded, cheery, easy-going, and friendly. He was not mechanically inclined, however--he spent his free-time with animals. Jacen, outgrowing his penchant for animals, seems to now carry his attuned feelings for animals to humans and aliens as well. But while Jaina was more argumentative, Jacen was non-confrontational--he avoided conflicts and wanted to settle fights, not hold grudges; he was also very idealistic, a sort of dreamer. Not that Jacen was a quiet dreamer--he was a comedian who cracked corny yet endearing jokes and clowned badly. Though this would irk Jaina, the two were very close. They would use the Force to communicate with each other without speaking to the point that by now it was an unconscious effort for them.   
  
Anakin was the serious boy in the family-quiet and thoughtful. Having dark brown hair and ice-blue eyes, he resembled neither his father nor his mother, nor his older siblings. Anakin was brilliant--he could solve puzzles and fix most things easily. He did have a temper, which he fought hard to keep under control, and now it did not surface unless he was repeatedly provoked. He, as well as his older siblings, could be stubborn and very opinionated. But despite this, Anakin generally was even-tempered and well-mannered, and if one could say so, matured earlier than his older twin siblings, though all three of them were known to be mischevious. Recently, though, Jaina noticed his moodiness and attributed it to growing pains. She was fond of him and paid particular attention to Anakin since they were kids, and he in turn was fiercely protective of her and responded to her attentions with his confidence. To Han and Leia's relief, this relationship allowed Jaina to keep Anakin's rebellious tendencies in check.   
  
Han grinned. "Dinner is served."   
  
Jacen reached over Anakin and helped himself to the food. Jaina took his lightweight dish and hit him in the arm while Anakin gave him a dirty look.   
  
"Can't you see there's a line here?" Jaina said, annoyed.   
  
Anakin nodded. "And I was here first," he said.   
  
Jacen backed away. "Ok, ok! Geez, I'm just really hungry."   
  
Jaina smirked as she handed him his plate. "You're always hungry."   
  
"When's Mom gonna get home?" Jacen asked as he scooted himself to the end of the line behind Jaina and Anakin.   
  
"Sooner than you think."   
  
All four jumped at Leia's voice.   
  
"Leia!"   
"Mom!"   
Leia Organa Solo grinned.   
  
**********   
  
Jacen and Jaina went out into the courtyard and sat down. They had just finished cleaning up after dinner. Anakin had gone out with Han for the night.   
  
"I'm glad summer's finally here," Jaina said contentedly.   
  
"Yeah, me too. I'm gonna--"   
"--sleep in tomorrow."   
  
The two always found themselves finishing each other's sentences. For a while no one said anything.   
  
Then Jacen said, "Jaina, could I ask you something?"   
  
Jaina turned to look at her twin. "Of course, silly."   
  
Jacen's face turned serious, though it was not facing Jaina. He was staring thoughtfully at the night sky.   
  
Jacen sighed. "This might sound crazy, but have you ever--felt like you're being watched?"   
  
Jaina frowned. "Well, there are holocams everywhere around here for security reasons. Sure, I've felt watched."   
  
Jacen shook his head. "That's not what I mean."   
  
He turned to face his sister but continued to look away, leaning on his knees with his forearms.   
"I mean, when there's no one around, I feel as if someone live is watching--"   
  
He paused and peered up at Jaina. Her face was neutral.   
  
"Go on."   
"Well, it's only a feeling really. I wanted to know if you've felt anything, you know, to confirm my suspicions. Everytime I've felt it I would be sure, but since you've never said anything, I'm not so sure anymore, not really, not certainly, I mean--"   
  
Jacen stopped to take a deep breath. It seemed to Jaina that his admission took a lot of mental courage.   
  
She too looked away and sighed. "You're right."   
  
Jacen let out his breath. "Then I'm not crazy."   
  
"I didn't say that."   
  
The two took the opportunity to lighten the mood and laughed lightly.   
  
Jaina said, "I felt the same way too, but sort of ignored it."   
  
Jacen nodded.   
  
Jaina continued, "He's friendly though. I feel warmth from him. He's almost comforting and strangely familiar too."   
  
"I feel like as if I know him but then I don't--"   
  
"Hey," Jaina interrupted excitedly, "you said it was a *him* too! Both of us thought it was a he?"   
  
The two stared into space for a long while, until Leia called them for bed.   
  
  
Jaina found herself staring at the ceiling in her room. She had finally earned her own room when she turned twelve--before she had shared the room with her brothers.   
  
The conversation she had with Jacen confirmed her own suspicions. She had felt the presence as well, but like her brother, thought it was a figment of her imagination.   
  
*Who is it?* she thought, frowning to herself in the dark. At least it was friendly. She didn't need any more Dark Jedi in her life. While ruminating over the possibilities, she soon fell asleep.   
  
Suddenly, Jaina found herself not anywhere near her bed. She sat up straight quickly, wondering what had happened.   
  
She stood up and looked at her surroundings. The area was gray, but the ground was sandy. The temperature was comfortable, not too hot or cold. She felt a presence nearby. The same Force-presence that she and Jacen had felt watching them.   
  
Jaina squinted to see where it was coming from. And saw someone that she had never met, but knew exactly who he was.   
  
"General Kenobi," she gasped. How she knew *that*, she couldn't figure out.   
  
The Jedi, a young man of around 30 or so, smiled and offered his arm.   
  
"How do you do, Miss Solo."   
  
"H-how do you do?" She was suddenly nervous as she hesitantly accepted his proffered arm. She had never seen a picture of a young Obi-Wan Kenobi. Oddly enough, the ones she had seen, which were few, were of him past youth, with a beard. Here, his face was smooth and clear.   
  
The General laughed good-naturedly, though Jaina felt it sounded strangely sad.   
  
"Quite well, thank you. And how are you?"   
  
Jaina managed a nervous lop-sided grin and shrugged dismissively.   
  
"Pretty good."   
  
The General smiled again, recognizing the uncanny Solo gesture. Jaina took the opportunity to ask him what was going on.   
  
"General Kenobi--"   
  
"You can call me Obi-Wan," he corrected quickly. "I command no army."   
  
"Oh--well, Obi-Wan-- w-where am I?"   
  
"You are where the Force lets you be," he replied enigmatically. "There is someone here who very much wants to meet you."   
  
Jaina frowned. "Really?"   
  
Obi-Wan stretched out his hand in the direction ahead.   
  
"Come with me. I'll lead you there."   
  
**********   
  
They came upon a small house, very plain and isolated. About 10 feet from the door, the general stopped.   
  
"I'll leave you here, Jaina. The person who wants to meet you is inside. He knows of you and wants to meet you."   
  
"Wow, I'm that special?"   
  
Obi-Wan smiled. "To him, you are very special." With that, he turned and disappeared.   
  
That left Jaina feeling suddenly uneasy. She examined the door to the hut in front of her and decided that the first thing she ought to do is knock. She smirked. *Geez, you're real smart*, she thought to herself as she knocked on the door twice.   
  
"Come in," a voice said almost immediately.   
  
The voice Jaina did not recognize. She slowly opened the door.   
  
  
Inside she saw a man past middle-age, with a broad face and light neatly combed hair. He was also wearing a Jedi robe, only the inside garment was gray, not tan. She also saw that he seemed nervous. He held his hands together in front of him, and his posture was slightly bowed, as if he was carrying an imaginary burden.   
  
Not knowing how to greet a Jedi, she did what she was taught to do when meeting an important dignitary.   
  
"Sir," she said respectfully and bowed low.   
  
The man unclasped his hands and quickly reached out to stop her.   
  
"No, no," he said, an expression of pain forming on his face. "I am not worthy, nor do I deserve your respect."   
  
Jaina stared at the man.   
  
"Not worthy?" Jaina's argumentative spirit could not resist. "But you're a Jedi!"   
  
The man did not comment, only looked at her with sad steady eyes. She noticed that his expression had changed to a look of regret. He tentatively placed a hand on her face, as if to confirm she was standing in front of him. Jaina had the air of both innocence and cleverness about her.   
  
Jaina, startled, placed her own hands on his arms.   
  
"Do I know you?"   
  
He removed his hand from her face and placed it gently on her shoulder, urging her to sit down in one of the chairs in his hut.   
  
"Yes--and no. I wish you had the chance to know your grandfather better."   
  
With that revelation, Jaina froze and stared at the man in front of her, her mouth open in astonishment.   
  
For the first time, he smiled.   
  
Without hesitation, Jaina pulled him in a bear hug.   
  
"Oh, Grandfather! I'm glad to have finally met you!" she said with genuine feeling.   
  
"The Force has finally granted me time," Anakin, startled by her embrace, tried to explain, but Jaina broke the hug and looked at him.   
  
"You don't have to justify yourself," she said soothingly.   
  
"But I have wronged your mother and your father and many others," he protested.   
  
"That has nothing to do with how *I* feel about you."   
  
He didn't comment, only continued to regard her thoughtfully. Nervous at his attention, Jaina reached to pull her hair back, but realized that it was already pulled back in a ponytail.   
  
"I owe Obi-Wan much for telling me about you and your brothers."   
  
Jaina suddenly realized that it was the General's presence she and Jacen had been sensing all this time.   
  
"General Kenobi?" Jaina exclaimed, thoroughly confused. "Why did you have him do it?"   
  
Again, that sad smile.   
  
"I have been forgiven, but I wished to atone for my actions. I elected--the most difficult penance."   
  
Jaina suddenly realized just what the penance was.   
  
"Obi-Wan took it upon himself to tell me about you, Jacen, and young Anakin. He was the presence you felt. It seems that I have been granted time to see my grandchildren, and hopefully, my daughter--your mother, and my son-in-law--your father."   
  
Jaina nodded. It had never occured to her what her mother or her father felt about Anakin Skywalker. Both of them had only known him as Darth Vader.   
  
"Mom and Dad has never talked about it in front of us," Jaina admitted.   
  
"Your mother and father have every right to hate me," Anakin said. "I have caused both much suffering."   
  
Jaina remembered the stories. Vader torturing her parents to bait Luke. Putting her father in a slab of carbonite.   
  
"Your father was quite resourceful," Anakin recalled amusedly. "I remember wondering what your mother saw in him. But now I realize that man was very much like I was when I was growing up. Not very high-born and crossing paths with a woman who was. He has a heart of gold. Your father is a rough Corusca gem."   
  
Jaina smiled. But Anakin grew serious.   
  
"I would very much like to meet him. I fear the matter between us is unsettled."   
  
"I can talk with him about it," Jaina eagerly offered. "I always wanted to know what he thinks about all this. Time may have healed old wounds."   
  
No one said anything for awhile.   
  
Then Anakin said, "Thank you, Jaina. I owe you my gratitude."   
  
Jaina took her grandfather's hands. She wasn't sure what to say.   
  
"Think nothing of it," she said dismissively.   
  
"Jaina, I can't help but think a lot about it. I have cheated you and your siblings of grandparents. And your mother and uncle of a better life." He paused, as if remembering something. "Your grandmother and I had talked about grandchildren before--a very long time ago."   
  
Jaina, surprised, listened intently. Anakin smiled at the recollection.   
  
"There are times now that I would do anything to see her, to feel her. But it will be a long time before I will be able to see her again."   
  
Again, the two of them were quiet. Jaina wanted to ask him about his wife, her grandmother, but she decided that right now wasn't the appropriate occasion.   
  
"Time is short now," Anakin said, with reluctance clear in his voice. "I will meet with Jacen and then Anakin."   
  
"Don't worry about my Dad," Jaina reassured him. "I think deep down, he wants some kind of a father figure in his life too."   
  
Anakin took Jaina in a long embrace. He seemed to not want to let her go.   
  
"Jaina, I--"   
  
Jaina broke the embrace, but waited quietly, letting him speak at his own pace.   
  
"Yes, Grandfather?"   
  
Anakin took a long breath.   
  
"Your very presence has brought me much comfort and peace. I'm glad to have met you. I--always wanted a granddaughter."   
  
Jaina didn't know what to say. She too felt the Force pull her away from him, the hut, the place that they were in.   
  
"I will see you again, Jaina."   
  
************   
  
Jaina woke up, wondering if anything she had seen and heard was real. She looked at the chrono and saw that 3 hours had past. She reached out and felt that everyone was asleep. Jaina wanted to get up then and there to talk to her twin about what she had just dreamt, but she remembered that her grandfather was going to visit with both of her brothers and soon they would come to her to talk....   
  
**************************************  
"Where am I?" he muttered, squinting. He looked at the ground he was presently sitting on and made a note of the sand.   
  
Jacen frowned at his surroundings, scratching his recently cut brown hair absently. He wasn't here a second ago...and now he was. *Weird...*   
  
"Jacen!"   
  
Surprised, Jacen spun around, frightened at the disembodied voice. He made an attempt to stand up.   
  
"Who's there?" he called, reaching out tentatively with the Force.   
  
From the mist came a Jedi, and from what Jacen could sense, was the same presence he and Jaina had felt was watching them.   
  
"Who are you?" he asked.   
  
"That is not important. Look to the west and you will see a house. There is someone there to meet you."   
  
Jacen was having none of it. "Wait, hold on! I want to know who--"   
  
But the Jedi disappeared, as the mist seemed to envelop him. Jacen sighed, slightly annoyed. But as he brushed off the sand from his clothes, it suddenly occurred to him that the Jedi he just saw was General Obi-Wan Kenobi. *General Kenobi!* The warrior from the Clone Wars and who had first taught Uncle Luke.   
  
Jacen could hardly believe himself. He focused on what the general had told him. *How do I know where west is if I don't even know where north is?* But he looked to his left and lo and behold, there stood an isolated hut. Jacen started his short walk.   
  
When he almost arrived at the hut, a man opened the door and walked out. Jacen stopped, unsure of what to do next. He squinted, trying to figure out who it was. From the robes he was definitely a Jedi of some sort, Jacen reasoned. He approached him slowly.   
  
"Jacen," the man ventured.   
  
Jacen frowned. "How you know my name?!"   
  
The man paused. Jacen looked at him expectantly, waiting.   
  
"You and Jaina have been searching for me."   
  
Jacen's mouth suddenly became slack as it somehow occurred to him that the man he was speaking to was his grandfather. Anakin Skywalker smiled.   
  
"Hello, Jacen."   
  
Jacen's mouth eased into a tentative smile.   
  
"Hi," he managed, suddenly nervous. Anakin offered a hand, and Jacen slowly reached out and shook it.   
  
"H-how is it that I'm meeting you--"   
  
"The Force has allowed me some time," Anakin broke in quietly. He noticed Jacen looking off to the distance around him, absorbing the barren surroundings.   
  
"Where are we--grandfather?"   
  
"I am in a place of purification."   
  
Jacen looked at him, suddenly uneasy.   
  
"You've been here for a long time."   
  
Anakin nodded. He saw that Jacen looked so much like his father, only more--refined, if he could say so. Jacen suddenly grinned, though to Anakin, he felt the uneasiness and the awkwardness of it.   
  
Anakin reached out to touch Jacen's shoulder.   
  
"If there is something bothering you, let it out."   
  
Jacen stared at Anakin.   
  
"What makes you think something's bothering me?" he said defensively in a slightly higher pitch. Jacen meant the statement to be a casual remark, but instead it came off in a hoarse accusation. He looked away quickly, feeling himself flush....he was unable to express the rub of emotion.   
  
"Jacen," Anakin interrupted gently, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions but I will not be able to answer them all now." He smiled sadly. "You will learn the answers to all of them when you come to this place in the end.   
  
"I was given this one chance to see you children," he continued quietly, serious again. "I will most likely never be given this chance again. It will be many of your years before I get to see my son and daughter again. That is partly why I'm talking to you three first, because I will be there to guide when you, Jaina, or Anakin will need me the most."   
  
Anakin paused. Jacen tried to articulate his feelings.   
  
"Grandfather, I--," Jacen was still frightened. He knew he WAS his grandfather. He had heard the stories, but there was no real meaning to the past--he had only learned the horror of Darth Vader--if not from his parents then from the history lessons at school on Coruscant and at the Jedi Academy. He knew, or thought he knew what this man had done. As much as Jacen wanted to forgive he also wanted to know why. All his other questions could wait. The answers would come in time just as Anakin had said.   
  
"I want to know why you--you chose the--the Darkside," he said shakingly. Anakin saw Jacen's eyes for the first time, wide and curious, not unlike the holopic Obi-Wan had brought to him many years ago when the children were but five-years old.   
  
Jacen, the joker, the cheery, simple animal keeper, was worried and scared.   
  
"I am not even sure myself about the 'why' anymore," Anakin sighed. "When your uncle cried for help on the second Death Star, there was no time to ask why I hadn't helped earlier. The only thing that mattered was the life of my son. I didn't even know that I had a child. Then when I did find out, it was my only thought to turn him to my side, to the Dark Side, to be my apprentice. I thought together we can become the saviors of the galaxy. That was part of the reason why I became the servant of the Emperor all those years ago. But what led to that was a string of incorrect assumptions and lies and half-truths that fed my anger. Darkness doesn't need much to grow. Its seeds are small and will grow in the rockiest ground. When I saw how he fought for his sister, how he wouldn't give in even when the Rebel fleet was being slaughtered--I then knew where his strength came from. He had found a piece of himself. Something more than the training Yoda had given him. The other half, so to speak. And in seeing that, I saw myself--all that I had lost."   
  
Anakin paused, with Jacen waiting, intent.   
  
"There is an ancient saying: what does it gain a man if he save the whole galaxy but lose his soul? Jacen, I nearly lost it all for that very reason. My intense need to save everything and everyone--to live up to that prophecy of being the Chosen One-- became perverted and subverted to the Emperor's will. My son's cry for help was the life line to the light side. The last chance I would ever have to do the right thing. And look how well that choice as served the galaxy in turn. My daughter has fulfilled my dream of ruling the galaxy with wisdom and justice. My son has done so many great and good things. *You* know those two things, great and good, aren't necessarily the same. I have done 'great' things but they weren't 'good' things. The last good thing I had done before saving Luke was marrying Amidala, his and Leia's mother--your grandmother."   
  
Jacen's eyes grew wider at the mention of his grandmother's name.   
  
Anakin stopped and looked up, as if listening. Then he turned to face Jacen.   
  
"I don't have much time left. I can see that you have worries and questions, perhaps more than your sister and brother. You hide them behind jokes. That's alright--but never forget to remember that you will be Jedi, you are a Jedi. It is your strength but also a great duty and responsibility, one you can't joke about. Joke to eleviate the pain, to relieve the pain of others. It can be one your greatest tools. Your compassion for the least creature of creation is your other."   
  
Anakin took Jacen's shoulders in his hands. The touch was gentle and light.   
  
Jacen suddenly took the tall man into a quick hug. Anakin, surprised, felt a bittersweet mixture of happiness and regret. Jacen, feeling the Force pulling then apart, moved back and took a steady look at this man who was his grandfather. He had said a lot of important things.   
  
"I forgive you grandfather," Jacen declared sincerely, with a genuine small smile on his young face.   
  
Anakin looked sad for a moment and then a change came to his face. "You loved your parents so much you weren't sure you could forgive. You thought you had. You are learning--faster than I had...I am proud." Anakin's smile lit the gray around them as if it were the sun finally peeking through clouds.   
  
"Goodbye, Jacen. May the Force be with you."   
  
"And with you grandfather. Be well!"   
  
The next thing Jacen was aware of was awakening in his own bed. He wasn't tired, but he felt as if he had been emotionally drained. He lay there for sometime, thinking. Jaina. He had to talk to her. And Anakin. Grandfather must be meeting with him now. I'll wait until Anakin is done. Grandfather, Jacen thought earnestly, thank you.   
*************************   
  
  
Anakin Solo sat up with a jolt. There was an incredible amount of light, and he brought his hand up to his eyes to shield them. He slowly stood up, turning around and seeing that he was surrounded in a barren, flat desert. The desert plain stretched out and the mirages playing out before him, its wavery images deceiving his vision. Anakin glanced at his clothing. He was wearing a snow white robe and a blood-red sash tied across his waist. Anakin wondered at the curious apparel as he stretched out with the Force and felt a presence nearby.   
  
Appearing out from the shimmering waves of heat was a man in Jedi robes, walking towards him at a slow but steady pace. He couldn't recognize the Force pattern but decided to walk towards him as well. No fewer than ten paces did Anakin suddenly realize who the man was. He stopped abruptly and took several steps back. The man that was his grandfather stopped as well.   
  
Anakin Solo was frightened. Impulsively he turned around and ran, but deep inside him, he knew he could not hide.   
  
Suddenly a flash of light blinded him. Disoriented, he cried out and fell down as if he had slammed into a wall.   
  
"Anakin," a female voice called gently to him, "why are you running?"   
  
Anakin, breathing heavily, faltered. He did not know what to say. He turned to the direction of the voice, but there was no one around, only the white light. In the back of his mind he was wondering why there was no sensation of heat coming from the intense glare.   
  
"Who are you?" he cried, his young voice rang and echoed in the air. A light breeze blew gently at his dark brown hair.   
  
"Who I am is not important as why you are here," the voice contined kindly. "What are you running from, Anakin?"   
  
Anakin Solo swallowed.   
  
"I am running from myself," he whispered hesitantly.   
  
"Do not run from your heritage, Anakin. You have much of my husband, your grandfather, in you."   
  
Anakin inhaled sharply. The voice belonged to his grandmother.   
  
"That's exactly what I am afraid of," he said shakily, more to himself as he tried to make sense of what was happening.   
  
"You are alike, yet so different from your grandfather. Do not let his mistakes sabotage your future. The white robe symbolizes your purity of action and the red sash is the penance you give yourself because of your grandfather's mistakes. Don't bear his sins, Anakin. Only he can atone for his guilt."   
  
"But there's so much," Anakin said. "I feel that I must help."   
  
The voice only replied: "Speak to him, Anakin. He will help you."   
  
Anakin felt a presence of love and then he was again alone.   
  
This is all so strange, Anakin thought, feeling incredulous. He turned to the direction he had come from and, to his surprise, discovered that he had not moved an inch from where he last was. *Didn't he just run away from here??* No, his mind told him. *Your spirit ran, you yourself did not run.* There, as if no time had past, was his grandfather, walking slowly towards him, with his right hand shielding his eyes from the light.   
  
Anakin approached his grandfather for the first time.   
  
***********   
  
Anakin Skywalker looked at his namesake and gasped. He had inherited his wife's--his grandmother's features. The boy was of medium build and height and had dark brown hair. He looked different than his older siblings yet he saw the resemblance. He saw plainly that the boy had inherited his own ice-blue eyes, but his refined and serious features were his grandmother's. Anakin Skywalker realized that he had inherited something much more from him than his light-blue eyes.   
  
What struck Skywalker the most was the boy's apparel. He was dressed in pure white with a red sash tied around his waist. But then it didn't surprise him...he understood the symbolism of his dress immediately. Obi-Wan had told him about the boy's compassionate and sacrificing nature: he would give up things he liked, he would bear little inconviences...so that his grandfather would suffer less in his place of atonement. All three had the virtue, but Anakin was the most sensitive of the three.   
  
"Anakin," he said softly, reaching out to touch the boy's slight face.   
  
The boy responded with a small smile.   
  
"Just like your grandmother," Skywalker said softly. "She cared about others more than she cared for herself."   
  
The boy blushed. "I wanted to ease the pain of your regret."   
  
Skywalker brought his hand onto the boy's dark brown hair. "I thank you from my heart for your sacrifices. Each time you, or Jaina or Jacen would do something in my name, I feel, literally feel your love. But it is my place to atone for the wrongs I've done."   
  
The boy looked away into the distance.   
  
"I did it also because--because it was the only way of teaching myself discipline," he said. "I was afraid that I would repeat what you--"   
  
The boy stopped, not wanting to say anymore.   
  
Skywalker understood nonetheless. "You are strong spiritually, Anakin. You understand there are consequences for every action you choose to carry out. That is the first lesson in becoming a Jedi, which you will one day be."   
  
Young Anakin turned back to his grandfather furtively. He seemed to have ruminated over something that had obviously bothered him for a long time, and Skywalker's last comment seemed to have sparked something in the boy.   
  
"I'm afraid of becoming a Jedi," he confessed, unwillingly, in a hoarse whisper. "I don't want to become a Jedi, I--"   
  
The boy blinked repeatedly, unable to express his frustrations.   
  
"That's why I quit the Academy to attend Collegiate. I wanted to meet others who just wanted to live ordinary lives. I wanted to see what else is out there."   
  
He let out a breath shakily as he continued on, fearing that if he stopped too long he wouldn't be able to continue.   
  
"I'm not a warrior. I don't want to expose myself to situations where something terrible may happen. Does anyone understand that??" the boy's voice grew a little shrill, evidence of his recent physiological changes. "I don't have to be a Jedi to fulfill my potential. Just because I'm your grandson, and just because my brother and sister are almost Knights--"   
The boy felt the heat rise in his cheeks, and he stopped mid-sentence, surprised at his outburst; he was not this emotionally expressive. He looked apologetically at his grandfather.   
  
"I'm sorry," he said, looking frightened. "I didn't mean--"   
  
"No," Skywalker said firmly, "it is imperative that you know yourself."   
  
He looked at the boy kindly and lead him on a slow walk.   
  
"I was like you at your age. Very unsure about the future. I didn't know what to expect of myself. I had to live out a Prophecy, and I felt the consequence of every action, however small, to be of great significance. I escaped by throwing it all away to the Darkside."   
  
He glanced at his grandson, who was looking up at him with upturned eyes. It touched him to see that the trust he gave him was true and sincere.   
  
"Grandfather," the boy said, "is there a way to use the Force and...just be normal in a way? I want to help, but not--" he stopped short, unsure of how to describe the feeling he had.   
  
"You're afraid to use that lightsaber in real life?" Skywalker asked.   
  
The boy flushed, seemingly embarrased.   
  
"Yes, and then no," he replied. "I sincerely feel that being a warrior is not my destiny. But I feel that if I admit that, I'd be labeled as being a coward. And I know fear leads to other worse things."   
  
Anakin Skywalker stopped walking.   
  
"There are other roles for the Jedi, Anakin," he said.   
  
Young Anakin's upturned face looked puzzled.   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"I mean that your future lies in a different path than Jaina and Jacen," Skywalker replied. "You have compassion and love for your neighbor. You feel joy when you relieve the pain of others. Your grandmother was the same. I look at you and--see her."   
  
He paused, his eyes focused at a time long past.   
  
"Padme would go out of her way to help alleviate the pain of others. Including--my own."   
  
The boy's eyes lit up at the mention of his grandmother's name.   
  
"Padme?" he exclaimed.   
  
Skywalker smiled wistfully.   
  
"Yes, Padme Nabierre Amidala," he said distinctly, but his tone became melancholic.   
  
Young Anakin wasn't sure what to say, so he stayed silent. His grandfather blinked, bringing himself back to the present. His grandson, however, suddenly realized what his grandfather had been trying to tell him.   
  
"She was a worker of justice," he blurted out. Anakin Skywalker grinned.   
  
"Yes," he said. "The next generation of Jedi are in need of other kinds of warriors."   
  
Young Anakin smiled, as if a burden had been taken from his shoulders.   
  
"You must return to the Academy and complete your training, Anakin," Skywalker said. "It is imperative if you are to use your talent well."   
  
"I will, Grandfather," the boy said firmly. "After I graduate from Collegiate, I will finish my training." Anakin smiled sheepishly. "Mom and Dad will be happy to hear that."   
  
Skywalker returned the smile. "I wish I could tell your mother and your father how I am proud of them. I had asked Jaina and Jacen if it was possible that I may speak to them."   
  
"Much time has passed, Grandfather. I believe it is time for them to acknowledge the past--so that mistakes will not be made in the future. I think they feel the pain of the past and want a reconciliation as well."   
  
The boy suddenly felt as if he were being pulled away. A nagging, tingling feeling in his extremities.   
  
"Grandfather, no! We've only just met!"   
  
Anakin Skywalker grabbed the boy in a hug.   
  
"Goodbye, grandfather," young Anakin cried. "I will be a Jedi, I promise!"   
  
*And I will reclaim your honor, Grandfather. With the help of my sister and brother. We will reclaim your name.*   
  
  
Jaina must have dozed off. Later that night she heard a presence enter her mind and was quickly awake.   
  
"Jaina?" Jacen whispered in her mind. "Are you awake?"   
  
"Yes," she replied back. "Come to my room."   
  
Jacen's head appeared through the door crack Jaina had made with the Force. His head was a shock of brown, uncombed hair.   
  
"Get into my bed before you catch a cold!" Jacen obeyed, snuggling in to her bed as she made room. The two hadn't done that since they were little and were still sharing rooms.   
  
"Did you--" Jacen began.   
  
"--meet grandfather?" Jaina finished. "Yes, I did."   
  
"I never thought I'd ever meet him."   
  
"Me neither," Jaina agreed. "What did he say to you?"   
  
Jacen told her. It was pretty much the same as her experience, though it was minus the sad farewell Grandfather Anakin had given Jaina.   
  
"What do you think?" Jacen asked. "How do we approach Mom and Dad about this?"   
  
"I don't know," Jaina answered, clearly stumped. "What about Uncle Luke? Should we tell him?"   
  
Before Jacen could think of a reply, Jaina's door opened again, this time with Anakin's dark brown head asking for admission. Jaina grabbed a quilt on a chair beside her bed.   
  
"Quick, Anakin," she ordered, "you can sit on the foot of my bed. Use the quilt here to keep you warm."   
  
Anakin came up to the bed and draped her quilt around him. He had a small grin on his face.   
  
"We haven't done this since we were kids," he remarked with humor.   
  
The three giggled.   
  
"What did he say to you, Anakin?" Jacen asked.   
  
"He very much wanted to make amends with Mom and Dad." Just like Anakin to be straight to the point, though Jaina felt that he was probably hiding more than he wanted to say. Anakin continued. "Should we talk to Uncle Luke about this?"   
  
"That's what Jaina and I were just discussing," Jacen said.   
  
"I think we should just talk to Mom and Dad," Jaina suggested. "If Grandfather wanted to bring Uncle Luke in, he would have said so."   
  
"Plus, what can he do about it?" Jacen added. "He's all the way on Yavin 4. Besides, I think he's already made amends with grandfather."   
  
The three sat quietly for a while.   
  
Then Jaina said, "I don't want all of us going to talk to them about it."   
  
"I see your point," Anakin agreed. "Maybe approaching them separately is better."   
  
"Hmmm," Jacen said thoughtfully.   
  
"I'll be in school tomorrow," Anakin suggested, "but you two can split up and talk to them separately."   
  
"Yeah," Jaina nodded, getting up onto her elbows. The lowlight from her nightlamp silhouetted Anakin's features. "Jacen'll talk to Mom, and I can have a chat with Dad."   
  
"Then it's settled," Jacen declared.   
  
"We'll let you in on it, Anakin," Jaina said.   
  
"Of course you will," Anakin teased, and got a bop on the head with Jaina's pillow.   
  
"You'd better get back to bed, young man," Jaina said in her most stern voice.   
  
Jacen snickered and Anakin rolled his eyes as he got up to leave.   
  
"Yes, ma'am," he saluted smartly as he closed the door behind him. Jacen and Jaina laughed.   
  
***********   
  
Leia awoke and squinted at her eyes to see the time. It was 4 in the morning, and she sighed as she thought about the dream she had. This dream she had started ever since she could remember...   
  
Leia was a girl with short brown pigtails held by ribbons, around ten, playing hide and seek in a large, grassy plain that was dotted with large trees. She ran, giggling, trying to find her evading playmate, a man with his face covered in a very expressive traditional Alderaani mask. The man came up from behind her and scooped her up in his arms and swung her around.   
  
"I've got you now!"   
  
After tumbling together down into the grass laughing, he put her back down and knelt to meet young Leia's eye level. Slowly, the man took off his mask revealing.....   
  
.....a handsome man, young, with light brown, almost blond hair, sparkling, cheerful light-blue eyes, amiable features, and a charming smile. In the dream, Leia somehow *knew* that this was her real father. He gathered Leia up in his arms and proceeded to carry her down the grassy hill.   
  
"Papa! You shouldn't hide like that! I almost couldn't find you!"   
  
The man smiled, a sight Leia couldn't get enough of in the dream. Leia snuggled her head into her father's shoulder, clutching his neck, feeling the bumps of his trot down the hill.   
  
"I thought you would just run away and I'd be all alone," she said in a small voice.   
  
The man stopped walking, made eye contact with Leia, and brought a sturdy hand up to her face, stroking it gently, a gesture that always brought tears to the now adult Leia's eyes everytime she thought of it.   
  
"I would never leave you," he said softly as he kissed her brow. "Never, as long as I live. I would give away everything so that my little angel is safe."   
  
Leia held her father's gaze. "That's all I could ever wish for!"   
  
"Come now, Leia," her father asked seriously. "If you could have one wish, what would it be?"   
  
"Well--" And Leia impulsively took her father's face in her small hands and brought her lips over to his cheek and kissed him. "Papa, I was serious---I just--want you to know that I---"   
  
But before Leia could finished, a fierce banshee wind howled--screamed----and out of nowhere a bright intense light flashed, blinding her. Someone had pulled Leia out of her father's arms. As she floated away---the wind stopped...and a startling, surreal silence caught the moment when Leia's hands and her father's hands parted; time slowed. The distance between them grew...and Leia watched in horror that no matter how hard her little body tried, she could not run back to her father. She felt like she was moving through water-her movements slow and mocking. The image of him was seared into her mind...his form, kneeling and his arms outstretched, grasping; his facial expression in anguish, *pleading.* Her own voice shattered the silence, like a bullet through glass.   
"Come back to me, Papa! I love you forever!"   
  
As if the magic words were said, Leia's struggles ended. Time sped up, and Leia ran to her father...   
  
But the dream always ended with her arms empty, for just as she was able to move, she found that she was alone, standing not in a grassy field but a barrren desert. She would turn around and around, searching for her father...   
  
"Come back to me! I love you forever!"   
  
Leia lay in bed blinking repeatedly, the ringing of her voice still echoing in her mind as she stubbornly refused to acknowledge the tear that had escaped. She was angry with herself in crying, but deep inside, she was crying because she knew it was true. It *was* what she ardently wished for...her real father who would love her no matter who she was, to come back to her after all these years of hate. But after the last meeting with her father on Bakura, she felt she would be alone and lost to him forever. Her mind, emotionally exhausted, soon fell asleep.   
  
  
The next morning, Han Solo awoke to find that his daughter was already up and nearly finished cooking breakfast.   
  
"What's my princess doing up so early?" He teased as he gave her a morning kiss.   
  
"I figured that my old Dad deserved a little tender loving care," she retorted, laughing a little. "Why don't you set the table? It's almost ready."   
  
"Who's honored to join us?" Han asked goodnaturedly as he reached for the utensils.   
  
Jaina smiled. "It's just you and me, Dad."   
  
Han, secretly pleased, turned and looked at his daughter mischeviously.   
  
"Ah. Our first official date."   
  
"Dad!" Jaina screeched and hit her father playfully, but was laughing.   
  
Before long, the two of them sat down and ate.   
  
***********   
  
  
"This was really good, Jaina," Han complimented as he finished his meal.   
  
"Thanks. I'm surprised myself. It's too bad Jacen isn't here to taste this. I guess you're gonna have to be my witness."   
  
Han laughed. Jaina had just finished her own breakfast and placed her glass of juice down.   
  
"Dad, if I asked you something, you'd always give me your honest opinion, right?"   
  
Han looked at Jaina, concerned.   
  
"Of course, Jaina. You're old enough to understand how things work in the universe." He looked at Jaina carefully again. "Why? Is there something you want to know?"   
  
Jaina sighed, looking at her empty plate.   
  
"I had a dream last night, only it wasn't a dream. I think it was for real."   
  
Han stared at his daughter.   
  
"Don't worry, Dad," she said reassuringly. "It's not bad, I promise. No Dark Jedi. Well, not really."   
  
Han relaxed a little.   
  
"Dad, I--I know this will bring back unpleasant memories--"   
  
"Don't worry about that, Jaina," Han interrupted. "Just tell me what's on your mind."   
  
Jaina hesitated, looking at her father worriedly. Then she took a deep breath, and pushed forward.   
  
"I always wondered what really happened on Cloud City. I know that Vader had manipulated you and Mom to bait Uncle Luke. I knew you were placed in carbonite and given over to Boba Fett. But--that was the physical. You were placed there against your will--you were tortured. How--how do you feel about that now? If--if you met Vader again--right now--only not as Vader, but as--as Anakin Skywalker--how would you react?"   
  
The question took Han by complete surprise. He didn't answer for awhile.   
  
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to--" Jaina began quickly, as she started to get up.   
  
"No, no," Han sighed, grabbing her hand. "No, you--you should know."   
  
Jaina looked at her father closely before she eased slowly back into her seat. Han rubbed Jaina's right hand absently.   
  
"It's strange, Jaina," he began, his voice low. "I was thinking about it recently."   
  
Jaina swallowed apprehensively. *Was that a good sign?* she thought, but Han smiled reassuringly.   
  
"Not about--Cloud City exactly. I thought that I had perhaps forgiven Vader. It's been so many years--and I'm married to his daughter. I'm really not a person to hold grudges, especially if he's been dead. And Luke seems to put him as a nice person--before he became Vader."   
  
Jaina nodded, her eyes intense.   
  
"I haven't even talked about this with your mother. I didn't think it would be good therapy to keep bringing the issue up. I remember--it was right after the Battle of Endor, before we were married. We were on a mission to Bakura. She wanted a truce with the Imperials there so that all of us could defeat the Ssi-ruuk. One night--Vader had appeared to her. Not as Vader, I mean, but as--well--" He broke off, looking confused. "Well, she didn't really tell me what had happened between the two of them, but I had just walked in when it was over and she was really angry. She had said, though, that he had asked her forgiveness. I didn't think she could do it."   
  
Han stopped, as she saw Jaina's face fell.   
  
"Jaina?"   
  
"Oh, it's nothing," she said hurriedly, feeling suddenly discouraged. "I've never heard of this before."   
  
Han nodded unconvinced. Jaina told him to keep going.   
  
"Well--she wondered what I felt--about his asking for forgiveness. At the time--I thought the whole thing was--you know. Before, I never believed in such a thing as the Force. I was just starting to see the truth of it. And it was finally beginning to sink in that Leia's father was Darth Vader. Is, was--the tense made no difference to me. The wounds were still very fresh then. For the both of us."   
  
Han sighed again.   
  
"As of now--I just want to forget the whole thing. Not *forget* forget, mind you, but just not think of it as a personal matter. I find that if I see it objectively, I won't feel too bad. As for your mother--I don't want to say how she feels about it. It's different for her, I imagine."   
  
Jaina sat there, contemplating what her father had just told her.   
  
"This might sound kinda weird," Han continued, "but at least your uncle and your mother knew a little about their parents. Granted, their's was not the best father. But I sometimes wish I had a chance to judge who my parents were. And I feel terrible sometimes for you kids. All of you deserve grandparents."   
  
For a moment, Jaina said nothing.   
  
"Dad," she finally began softly, "what if you were given a chance to meet Anakin Skywalker, your father-in-law?"   
  
Han stared at her.   
  
"This has something to do with the dream you had?"   
  
"Yes, Dad," Jaina admitted.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
Now it was Jaina's turn to sigh.   
  
"Well, I found myself in a sandy, gray place. And then Obi-Wan was there."   
  
It took a second for that name to register in Han's brain.   
  
"Kenobi?" he sputtered. He was suddenly flustered. Jaina felt a strange mixture of apprehension and confusion from her father.   
  
"Yes, General Kenobi, " she confirmed. "You seemed surprised."   
  
"Well, I haven't seen him in almost twenty-something years. And, well, let's just say that I wasn't the charming, lovable person then as I am now."   
  
Jaina grinned, rolling her eyes for effect. She had heard that story from both her uncle and father.   
  
"The last time I saw him was when Vader had killed him right when we were about to escape from the first Death Star with the plans and your mother."   
  
Jaina shook her head. "That's too bad."   
  
"Yeah," Han said, a smirk on his face. "He probably thinks that I'm still nothing but an unbelieveing, selfish mercenary. He probably never thought I'd be able to make it to General. Not to mention marry *Princess Leia of the House of Organa.*"   
  
Jaina laughed. "Dad, he had nothing but nice things to say about you."   
  
The next twenty minutes, Jaina told the remainder of the encounter with Kenobi and Grandfather Anakin. He listened as his emotions changed from surprise to curiosity to near incredulousness. Han just sat there dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. *Penance by not seeing his children or grandchildren? Wanting to meet his son-in-law? Maybe Luke was right after all about him. Maybe he could be a good person.*   
  
"He really wants to make amends, Dad," Jaina said.   
  
Han nodded. "I figure Jacen is talking to your mother about this as well?"   
  
"Yes, when she's at her lunch break today."   
Han considered his situation carefully.   
  
"Tell him that I--I would like to meet him as well, not as an enemy, but as--"   
  
He was at a loss for words. In his wildest dreams he never thought this opportunity would arise.   
  
"As-- his friend," he finished lamely as he ran a hand through his hair. It obviously took a lot of effort for him to say that. Jaina ran around the table and gave her father a hug and a kiss.   
  
"You won't regret it, Dad."   
  
  
  
The comm buzzed for attention.   
  
"Councilor?"   
  
Councilor Leia Organa Solo was eating her lunch in her office when she leaned towards the comm.   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"Your son Jacen wants to see you. Shall I make an appointment?"   
  
Leia felt a stab of guilt forming in her stomach. She had given orders that she was not to be disturbed by anyone during her lunch break, but she had forgotten that the twins were on holiday.   
  
"No, no," Leia replied, "let him in. And please hold the rest of my calls."   
  
"Yes, Councilor."   
  
Before she had time to organize her desk to a semblance of order, Jacen rushed in, grinning widely.   
  
"Hi, Mom!" he greeted cheerfully. "Am I interrupting anything? Did I come at a bad time?"   
  
"Of course not, Jacen!" Leia reassured him, feeling slightly ashamed. "As long as you're my son and not one of them--" eyeing the direction of the Senate Hall, "no time is a bad time."   
  
He smiled again. Leia had to admit, she missed his sunny personality. She pulled up a chair close to her.   
  
"Come and sit. I have a feeling you didn't come here just to say hello," she teased.   
Jacen turned red at her comment. "Mom, I--"   
  
"I was teasing you."   
  
"Well, there is something I wanted to discuss with you."   
  
Leia regarded Jacen. He was now wearing a blue long sleeve shirt with a military collar under a lightweight jacket and despite his earlier days of untucked shirts and windblown hair, Jacen now was careful in his neatness.   
  
"I'm all ears."   
  
Jacen took a deep breath.   
  
"I had a dream last night. And I met some people that--only you, Dad, and Uncle Luke have met."   
  
Jacen let that settle in his mother's head before he went on.   
  
Leia started thinking, but inside she had the feeling that she already knew.   
  
Jacen went on quietly, "Grandfather wants to know if you want to meet him."   
  
Leia's breath had caught in her throat. *Grandfather??*   
  
"Mom?"   
  
"Jacen," Leia started shakily, "how did you meet him?"   
  
Jacen elaborated the meeting. He watched his mother's reaction carefully as she listened.   
  
"He really wants to make amends."   
  
Leia said nothing. She seemed to be in another world.   
  
"Mom, what--what did Vader do to you all those years ago? I know it wasn't good, but none of us really know what happened."   
  
Leia nodded, looking at her son. She seemed frozen--in fear? Apprehension?   
  
"Maybe talking about it would help you heal," Jacen suggested, taking his mother's hand.   
  
Leia took a deep breath. Perhaps her son should know.   
  
"In the first Death Star," Jacen prodded gently. "You were captured. Vader wanted to know where the Rebel base was."   
  
Leia nodded, swallowing. The images swarmed over her in a rush.   
  
"I--I was in a cell," Leia began, "and Vader had walked in. Mentioned that we'd be discussing the location of the Rebel base. And--and then--the droid--it--it came and injected something into me--and immediately I started feeling dizzy. Vader began to interrogate me. 'Where is the base, Princess?' he asked. I--I told him he'd have to kill me first before I'd tell him anything. He then started to--*probe* my mind--now I think he used the Force to do it--but when I felt it, my reaction was to think of a durasteel wall. Think of nothing but a durasteel wall, I told myself over and over. The chemicals the droid had injected me started to work. I started to feel pain, as if all my muscles had contracted. I felt burning, as if I was on fire--"   
  
Leia closed her eyes tightly.   
  
Jacen was immediatly there to comfort her.   
  
"Shhh," he soothed, "it's okay."   
  
Leia continued, "He kept asking, 'The base! Where is the base? Please tell me where is the base!' I was in so much pain I couldn't think straight-now that I think of it, he sounded like he was pleading with me. I was losing my concentration of the durasteel wall. Then suddenly, it all stopped. Vader stood up and stalked out. I hadn't realized that it had only been going on for half an hour." Leia paused. "I--I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but later-- three Imperial officers came into my cell. They wanted to have some--fun with me. At that time I was too tired to defend myself--"   
  
Jacen closed his own eyes. He hadn't expected this. Now he felt guilty asking. But to his surprise, Leia continued to relate her ordeal.   
  
"But then as I was getting ready to fight and stop them, Lord Vader had stormed into the room. He seemed really angry. Furious. I--I don't remember exactly what happened, but I found myself alone with him. I think I was sobbing by now. I remember I had cursed myself for crying in front of that monster--to let him see that my spirit was nearly broken. He--he just stared at me---I remember that mechanized breathing--it was loud. Then he just left. And eventually, I fell asleep. Now that I think back over it, Tarkin gave the worst torture. I--never felt as helpless as I did, watching Alderaan be destroyed like that."   
  
The silence caused Jacen to reopen his eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry," Jacen mumbled, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't know--"   
  
Leia allowed herself a smile.   
  
"No, you were right," she admitted, "I think I needed that."   
  
She sat thoughtfully for a while. "You know, I think from then on, Vader strangely left me alone. When we were all captured on Cloud City, they had your father and Chewie physically in pain, but they had mysteriously left me unharmed. I realized that Vader had placed me in a holding cell right next door to your father--"   
  
Leia drew in a breath.   
  
"He cried out in pain--I could hear it through the walls. Again, that helpless feeling was more unendurable and more agonizing to me than if I had been on that electroscan grid. Later, Vader made the ultimate move by taking your father away--for what felt like forever--in a slab of carbonite. I clearly remember--your father was trying to calm Chewie--I was staring at Vader--I wanted to see just what was under that inscrutable mask. He looked on without any comments.   
  
"Now that I think about it, I wonder what he was thinking--would you believe that he was my father!--when I had told your father right then that I loved him." Leia snickered a little. "Vader probably wondered what I saw in him."   
  
Jacen felt that his mother had finished. She leaned back in her chair, but her expression was unreadable. Jacen wondered if she ever wanted to see her father, given all that had happened to her. But Leia had picked up on that thought, and addressed it.   
  
"Jacen, this wasn't the first time my father had wanted to speak to me. He approached me a long time ago, before you, Jaina and Anakin were born, before I even married your father."   
  
Jacen's brown eyes became wide.   
  
"It was not very long after the Battle of Endor. I was on Bakura trying for a truce with the Imperials there. I had woken up from a short nap--I had just finished washing up--and I saw someone in my room. I was startled--I hadn't heard anyone come in..."   
  
Leia related the rather unpleasant and uncomfortable meeting with her father. She sighed.   
  
"I was too angry at the time. All I could think of was--how dare he--after all that he has done--I couldn't forgive him and let him off the hook, just like that. I had wondered why Luke had been so forgiving. During our celebrations on Endor, Luke had told me what father had said to him as he lay dying. 'Tell your sister you were right about me.' I wasn't convinced. He had stood there as Tarkin killed the only father I knew--Bail on Alderaan. He had manipulated us on Bespin so that he could control Luke. All for the Emperor! I couldn't belive that Vader had willingly given his life for Luke, to save him.   
  
"But later on, I realized that everyone is prone to becoming a Vader. We all make mistakes. Big ones. Sometimes, that can change our lives totally. I also thought, maybe certain circumstances can cloud a person's judgement. That person probably had meant well, but lost himself to things he found he could not control. My father was weak. Of course, that doesn't excuse anyone from their wrong doings, but when I thought of that, it was my way of forgiving father. I hadn't told him personally, but naming your little brother Anakin was my way of showing I had accepted my father for who he was."   
  
Leia stopped and looked at her son. Both sat quietly for a moment.   
  
"Tell my father--your grandfather--that I--I would like to meet him again."   
  
At that, Jacen got up and hugged his mother.   
  
************   
  
Later that afternnoon, Jaina and Jacen had joyfully exchanged their stories with Anakin as soon as he returned from school. All beamed at their success.   
  
  
That night, Jaina again visited her grandfather and told him that he would soon have older visitors. Anakin was happy, yet extremely nervous.   
  
"Grandfather--just be yourself," Jaina counciled. "Everything should be fine."   
  
Anakin hugged his granddaughter.   
  
"Thank you. Tell Jacen and Anakin thank you as well."   
  
"How come they're not here with me?"   
  
"I could only see one person this time."   
  
Jaina realized his implications.   
  
"I will tell them, Grandfather."   
  
"I love you, Jaina. Tell them that I give them my love."   
  
"I will."   
  
***********   
  
*Papa!* A knot formed in her throat--*it was him*! The young, handsome man in the dream--only older, sadder.   
  
Leia found herself in the exact same place Jacen had described to her. The same barren desert that left Leia alone in her dream.   
  
"Leia."   
  
The two looked at each other for the first time, without hate in between them.   
  
"Father," Leia started, "I'm sorry for--"   
  
But Anakin stepped forward, quieting her. He directed her to a seat beside him.   
  
"Leia, Leia, you are the last person who should ask my forgiveness!"   
  
Leia, surprised, said nothing.   
  
"I am asking for yours," Anakin reminded her quietly.   
  
"You had asked before, and I refused it," Leia protested sternly. "I didn't give you a chance."   
  
"You had every reason. I had created holes in your life. You had lost too much on account of me."   
  
Leia sighed. "My anger was justified, but what's happened has happened. I just feel regret--regret that I'll never really know my father. Regret that I'll never know my mother. Regret that my children won't have grandparents. Regret that the Skywalker name may be forever remembered by what you did. And that it could happen again in my children---"   
  
Leia suddenly stopped. She hated revealing her vulnerability, just as she had cursed herself for crying in front of Vader all those years ago on that first Death Star. She blinked back tears, but her secret fears--the nightmares that she had of her children turning to the Dark Side--and worse on each other--bubbled up inside her. She gasped at the feeling that suddenly over took her.   
  
"I constantly worry about them! My children, grandchildren of the most feared commander in the Empire! All my life, I've been dedicating my life for justice--and at every turn I feel the pain of what my legacy has caused! I sometimes want to die, to make everything right! If my children turn to the Dark Side, all of my efforts would be useless. Because they have been thrown by destiny and fate to be Darth Vader's grandchildren. To be strong in the ways of the Force. *The Force!!!*"   
  
Leia gasped for breath, her face flushed with emotion. She was grasping her father's cloak in frustration and anger.   
  
"I sometimes wonder if the Force was more of a curse than a gift. What if Anakin finds power to be more important and seductive than the love of his twin siblings? What if Jaina or Jacen decide to kill Anakin for money or power? But most of all, the Dark Side--it--it makes all that seem so trivial! I--I'm so afraid--afraid that--"   
  
"Afraid that they'll be destroyed by the Dark Side as I have been?" Anakin answered softly, looking away.   
  
Leia choked. She grabbed her father's shoulders. Anakin too was overcome, his chest tight with grief as he cradled her in his arms and let her vent. The two of them, father and daughter, sat together in an embrace for the first time. For a moment, Leia seemed to be a child just wanting the comfort of being in her father's arms. Her sobs were strong, angry, and full of emotion. After she calmed down somewhat, it wasn't after a long time before Leia stirred. She moved out of his embrace, embarrased.   
  
"I--I'm s-sorry," she managed, swallowing her hiccups and belatedly wiping away her tears. Anakin replied with a small, shy smile as he wiped the tear stains from Leia's cheeks with his own hands.   
  
"Don't be. It was long overdue."   
  
Leia smiled too, looking at her father with sad, red, large brown eyes.   
  
"Father, I had a dream--a dream about a man..."   
  
Anakin listened intently, his light-blue eyes, eerily like her twin brother's as well as her own youngest son, looking at her intensely with genuine concern.   
  
Leia continued with the rest of her recurring dream, but secretly keeping the identity of the 'man' a secret. She ended her tale with the revelation.   
  
"I've never seen or met him before, but I immediately knew who it was. He looked so grand and so kind. He took me in his arms and at the time, I felt truly loved. I felt safe and happy. I was his "little angel." She paused, as Anakin gasped. She looked at her father with the same intensity.   
  
Leia smiled. "That person was-- you."   
  
"When I first saw you on Bakura," Leia continued quietly, "It reminded me of those dreams I had. I was angry because I--I thought you were mocking me of what I wanted in a father."   
  
Anakin had his arm around Leia, with his other hand holding Leia's own. "Leia, I wish I could let you know just how much I regret that what you saw in your dream wasn't real. Thinking about this every day that I'm here is the worst pain I feel."   
  
For a while, the two simply leaned on each other for comfort.   
  
"Father?" Leia broke out of her revere.   
  
"Yes, Leia?" Anakin looked in his daughter's upturned, ponderous eyes.   
  
"What was my mother like?"   
  
Anakin slowly took both of Leia's hands in his. He sighed.   
  
"There is no complete way to describe your mother," he began wistfully. "She was a very, very strong woman: intelligent, clever, but warm-hearted, compassionate, and understanding. She had so much feeling--everything she did, she meant it. It was straight from her heart.   
  
"And she was beautiful--in a subtle way. I think it came from within her being. The way she carried herself--it radiated from her."   
  
Anakin's eyes then became hard, with a haunted look returning to them as the memories of the past overwhelmed him.   
  
"Leia, I hate and curse myself for what I've done. I gave everything up--my dear wife, my daughter, my son!! For what! Twenty years of servitude to a man who *used* me!"   
  
Leia was frightened at her father's passion of his regret and his guilt. It occurred to her that it was *she* who was supposed to be saying those things to *him.* She tried to calm him.   
  
"Shhh," she soothed. But Anakin shook his head furiously.   
  
"The Dark Side," he said with clear contempt. "It was so addictive, more powerful than any drug. I was *weak.* Leia, I had come from *nothing!* I didn't believe in myself. I was surrounded by people who were better--socially and mentally. I wanted to prove to her that I was worthy enough for her, that she didn't make the wrong choice."   
  
Anakin shut his eyes tightly. "She deserved better."   
  
Leia said nothing, only stared at her father, her mouth slightly open. She didn't realize that she had been holding her breath. This revelation after years of secretly trying to understand where she had come from, and what factors had motivated a supposedly good man to one of the galaxy's most hated men, startled her. Underlying her father's admission of his motivations was a warning: do not make the same mistake I had. Unwittingly traveling down the evil path is almost always lined with good intentions. With that outburst of feeling, Leia learned that Anakin really and truly loved his wife--her real mother.   
  
Leia felt no pity but compassion. She knew the difference--and she had a feeling that her father did not want her pity or her forgiveness, but her *understanding*. And through the Force, she let her father feel it.   
  
He responded to the insight with a jolt. Anakin couldn't believe that his daughter, the woman that should hate him for his crimes against her, her brother, her husband, her people--understood him implicitly. He did not want her pity--and she did not give him any. It did not justify his past, but she knew that learning from the past and its mistakes was the best restitution.   
  
He kissed her gently on the forehead.   
  
But he felt as if she were being pulled away from him.   
  
"Must you go?" he asked, unwillingly.   
  
He took out his hand and gently stroked her cheek, *just like in the dream.* The expression and the gesture broke Leia's heart.   
  
"I love you."   
  
Before the mists of the meeting faded, Leia said to her father what she had been wanting to say all her life.   
  
"You've finally come back to me," Leia said, with real joy in her heart. "I love you forever!"   
And this time, the dream ended with his confident voice, answering her call. Leia could almost *see* that little girl with ribbons....finally reaching her father's outstretched arms....   
  
"Yes, I've come back. I'll never leave you again, Leia. I will be with you, always."   
  
*****************************   
  
  
About 2 nights had passed since Jaina had told Han about her 'dream,' and though he took her very seriously, the bustle of everyday concerns occupied most of his time and energy. He had placed the fact that he was supposed to 'meet' his father-in-law out of his mind and forgotten about it.   
  
*Not really forgotten,* Han told himself, a little irritated. Just the part at how he was supposed to meet him was still a little over his head.   
  
And yet here he was, in a place he did not recognize, yet eerily familiar to the place Jaina had described to him--gray--but this time, not a desert--he was standing in an barren tundra. It was cold and misty--Han could feel the chill in his bones. Out of habit, Han instinctively reached for his blaster, but found that the usual trusty low-holstered gun was no where to be found. Han suddenly felt uneasy.   
  
Luckily, not more than 50 paces away from where he stood was a lone hut. Han frowned. Lucky? Yeah right, he thought. In the pit of his stomach, he had a feeling that he knew who would be living there.   
  
"General Solo?"   
  
Though the voice was not threatening--in fact, the voice sounded surprised-- it startled Han so much that he nearly broke into a run. Han had not heard anybody approaching behind him, despite how quiet this frosty place was.   
  
Han turned around slowly, glowering, more at himself than at the bearer of the voice, at how easily the call had gotten to him.   
  
What he saw was a Jedi of some sort, though even with his inexperienced eye, he noticed that this man was wearing Jedi robes underneath his brown coat. The man had a small, hesitant smile on his broad face, which was flushed from the cold. He looked to be around 5 standard years older than Han was, though Han didn't have the slightest urge to fight him--despite his age, the man was slightly taller and stronger than he was. He was also carrying what looked liked a large water jug--it was slung high on his left shoulder.   
  
Han had that fluttery, uneasy feeling in his stomach again. With a sudden realization, Han knew that this stranger could only be one person.   
  
*Best to start the introductions nice and friendly, right Solo?*   
  
"I'm not here to fight you, Solo," Skywalker said before Han was able to put a word in. The man's rich voice carried well in the quiet of the surroundings, and Han had to admit it had backbone without sounding overbearing or condesending.   
  
*What the hell am I doing?* Han snarled to himself. *I'm analyzing this way too much. I'm not giving this guy here that much time of my day.*   
  
"Who said anything about fightin?'" Han retorted, a little defensively.   
  
Skywalker didn't reply, only nodded as if Han had answered some question.   
  
"I was about to return to my hut," he said, walking past Han in the direction of his house. Skywalker's breath came in white puffs from the cold. After a few steps, he stopped, as if waiting for Han to follow.   
  
Han did nothing, only stood with his hands lightly on his hips, his jaw set. He wasn't going to look like a softie in front of this guy, though all he could think of was that this was *not* the Anakin Skywalker he had imagined. Not that he ever thought about it, but this guy was no Darth Vader.   
  
Not that he expected to see that black mechanical wheezing monster....   
  
Skywalker's face was now against the light, wherever it came from, and Han could see the melancholic features in the man's silhouetted countenance. There was a light wind and it blew gently against Han's hair and Skywalker's coat. After a little while, Skywalker seemed to take the hint without comment and turned around, walking slowly towards the hut again. Han suddenly felt a little guilty in his rudeness. He ran his hand through his hair and cursed himself as he started to follow the older man.   
  
*Now what?* Han thought furiously. He sincerely wished that Jaina or the boys were here. He was not used to these Jedi matters.   
  
By now Skywalker had reached the hut. He stopped at the doorway, turned around, and waited for Han.   
When Han reached the door, he stopped and looked at him.   
  
Skywalker opened the door and gestured for him to go in. When both had gone inside, Han took a moment to scan the surroundings, glad to be out of the cold.   
  
Han saw nothing of the man's humble, ascetic abode. Instead, he remembered the yellow, buttery light, the steam, the acrid stench of the liquid carbonite. That fateful day on Cloud City-- it was the closest thing to death--and Han would never forget it. It suddenly occured to Han that that was the last time he ever saw Vader alive. Good riddance, too, he added without a second thought.   
  
"So, we meet again," Han said, bypassing any pleasantries.   
  
Skywalker placed the ceramic water jug down onto the rough, sandy floor.   
  
"Yes," he acknowledged quietly and unhesitatingly, as he slowly took of his coat. "I know."   
  
Unnerved, Han's mind began to spin. He wasn't sure how this meeting would end up, but he *knew* just what he wanted to say.   
  
  
  
  



End file.
